Considering an Adoption?

At the moment you may be considering placing your child for adoption.

It is your decision as to what will happen to your child. It helps if you can discuss options with your family and/or a counsellor. Your decision needs to be an informed one. You may have questions about your legal rights and what happens once your baby is born. Your counsellor will answer many of your questions and is available for ongoing support and information.

What can I expect from PCS and/or other professional helpers?

From them you deserve and should expect:

  • Respect
  • Readiness to listen without making judgment
  • Commitment to allowing you as much time as you need to explore all of the options opens to you, your family and your child
  • Willingness to meet with any of your family who are significant in this decision
  • A belief that you have a free choice about the future of your child
  • A wide variety of adoptive families to choose from
  • Time after the child is born to carefully consider again all the options before signing the consent

Here are some common questions...

What is adoption?

Adoption is a legal process which creates the relationship of parent and child between persons who are not already parent and child. In the eyes of the law it is as if the child had been born to the adopting parents. The adoptive parents assume custody and full legal responsibility for the Child.

What are my rights as a birth parent?

It is your right to make a decision about whether to place your child for adoption and to select the adoptive family most suitable. You may have preferences about religion, ethnic background, age, education, interests, occupation, location, family background and health history.

You must register your baby before signing the consent form. You can register your baby with the names you choose and obtain a full copy of the birth certificate.

You can legally specify the religion in which your child is brought up.

You can choose which type of consent form you sign:

One where the full names of the adoptive parents are shown or one where the full names of the adoptive parents are not shown.  You have full legal rights to your baby until the consent form is signed. You cannot sign this until at least 12 days after the birth. You can change your mind at any time until the consent form is signed. Signing consent permanently terminates your parental rights.

You can have photographs taken of your baby in hospital. You can negotiate to have ongoing contact with your child and the adoptive parents, but this is not enforceable by law.

Who can consent to an adoption?

Only the birth parent/s or guardian/s of a child.

When can consent for an adoption be signed?

Only after the baby is 12 days old. The day the baby is born is not counted.

Can I withdraw my consent?

You can change your mind until the consent form is signed. It is best to be very sure before you sign anything.

What is meant by open adoption?

You can ask to meet the adoptive parents prior to or at the time of placement and can agree to keep in touch with your child through photos, letters, phone calls and visits.  However after the adoption the birth parent has no legal rights to the child and contact depends very much on the adoptive parent's willingness to co-operate.  It is important you understand this prior to consenting to the adoption.

Adoptive parents can choose their own names for the child but sometimes they may retain the first name you gave to your child.

Who needs to approve the placement of my child in an adoptive home?

Child youth and family (adoption information and services unit) social worker legally approves the placement of your child with the adoptive parents - not a doctor and not a lawyer. It is illegal for any money to change hands.

If you place your baby with family, child youth and family approval is not required but it may be helpful to discuss the situation with your counsellor first.

When does adoption become final?

About 9 - 12 months after placement. Initially all the papers (i.e. Birth parent/s consent form and adoptive parents application to adopt), are filed in the court and a social work report is requested.

After the report is filed a date is set for a court hearing and the judge will grant an interim order of adoption if the report is positive. This is valid for 12 months; however, the adoptive parents may apply for a final order of adoption after six months has elapsed. An adoption social worker makes regular home visits during this time frame.

What does this mean?

Your child's name is legally changed to that of the adoptive family, and a new birth certificate is issued when the final order has been made. He or she is then considered a child of the adoptive parents however you can still bequeath to your child in your will.

The child's race, nationality and citizenship are not altered.

  

From an Adoptive Mother: 

Your mother must have been instantly besotted. Everyone who ever saw you was. It was even a bit disconcerting how people were drawn to you. We often had a hard time reclaiming you from overzealous, cooing, smitten adorers. THAT'S how gorgeous you were. So, Bill, try to imagine how hard it was for her to look at you, at this splendid little shining thing, and to know she had to make what was probably the hardest choice of her life. The choice to give you a better life than she might have been able to, to put your interests before her own powerful maternal urges.  Personally, I think that she did a mighty thing that day. She prized you above herself, above her own desires. That is a feat of love, Billie. Big, powerful, priceless love. Selfless love. LOVE.

Dawn French -Adoptive Mother, Actress, and Author speaks to her Adopted daughter Billie
(An Excerpt taken from her recent book of memoirs- "Dear Fatty")

I will always be thankful to her for having the enormous courage to make that decision because otherwise we would never have known you. We wouldn't have had you, that splendid little spudling, in our lives. And although I often think about her grieving and how that must continue, I thank God daily for her choice. She is our link to you and we don't forget that. Our little triangle has an invisible, important fourth side, which is constantly in my thoughts. I'm sure she must be in yours too. Especially on Mother's day. We are related to each other, all of us. In the spirit of that bond, I accept this card to a mother on her behalf too, because as a testament of her love for you, she gave you to me, to my keeping, and thus I am truly blessed. There is no greater love than that. You say, 'I couldn't ask for a better mum.' And in the truest sense, you're right. You couldn't.

 Thanks, Bill.

Teenage Birth Mothers Story of Adoption:

I became pregnant to someone who wasn't my boyfriend at the time, when I was 17.  This was the worst thing that could happen to me, as I was so young and was also from a religious background, and went to a Christian school and had Christian friends and family. When I learnt I was pregnant I was in shock and felt it was unreal.  My immediate reaction was the desire to have a quick termination and not tell anyone I was pregnant, that way I thought no one would ever know and I could get on with my life as if it never happened.  I ran away from home and stayed away for a few days.  However, I quickly accepted that I was deceiving myself, that I would never be able to keep it a secret forever, so I came back home.  Fortunately I have very supportive parents, and even though they were upset with the position I was in, they still loved me and wanted to support me, as long as I cleaned up my act. 

So I moved back home. Keeping the baby was never an option for me, I wasn't ready for the responsibility. But having a termination was no longer an option now that I was back home and trying to clean up my act. So I decided on adoption.  9 months of being pregnant at the age of 17 seemed like a very long time, but the time went fast and giving birth to a baby was the most rewarding experience I have ever been through.  I don't think anything quite compares.  And even though I wasn't able to keep bubs, I was prepared for that and giving her away to a loving and caring family wasn't as hard as some people think.

I get along with the baby's family very well, and have the chance to see her around once every month or two.  It is a relaxed arrangement and is a matter of whenever suits myself and the parents.  Open adoption has, in my mind, been for everyone the very best answer to a really difficult situation.  The parents get a chance to bring up a child and call her their own, the child is given a loving family and everything she should have growing up, and I am secure in the knowledge that she is safe and happy and that I made the best decision for her wellbeing.  She is beautiful and smart, and I am proud of her but I never regret the decision to entrust her care to someone else.

Even though I missed her when she first left, I had such peace knowing that I had made the right decision.